In the pain post, we discovered that pain is a highly unpleasant physical sensation which we also equated to a spiritual sensation based on the fact that we are spirit beings.

Inorder to work the pain and safely dispose of it, one needs to allow God create in them a clean heart! He desires truth in the inward parts (Psalm 51:6) and it is your duty to search for truth and get wisdom. God seeks to deposit wisdom in the hidden parts but if he finds pain/lies there, he cannot do anything for you. and it becomes impossible for you to continue to worship him. The choice to freedom is yours today. Choose life, choose truth, let go the God-given way and live a fruitful life. Then and only then can you see the beauty of having God in your space.

We basically experience pain as a result of acts of violations against us physically or emotionally by other people especially those we trust. Now there are 2 kinds of pain, one based on obedience and one based on disobedience to the Word of God.


This is the unpleasant feeling experienced after receiving a word that makes us uncomfortable. In a way it ‘violates’ us as it rocks our boat and threatens our peace and comfort. This is a word that challenges your belief system, opposes who you are or who you want to be and is not going to give you rest. Most times it is the challenge and instruction to forgive and let go or sacrifice something. Other times it is a case of reproval or rebuke. Sometimes too it is simply chastisement. God is the ultimate authority above all creation and there is nowhere to run to so this word causes unrest. However not everyone can yield to the unpleasantness of a WORD. For those whose conscience has been seared and is dead, it is impossible to give in. However the sensitive ones, the true children of the Most High God will eventually give in. Unfortunately failure to surrender activates the wrath of God and infact ends up birthing the pain of disobedience as things fall out of place.

The pain of obedience only subsides when one surrenders to the will of God. This pain carries rewards on surrender basically because it is instructed by love and born of love. It pushes an agenda to put others first, to surrender all to God, to be compassionate towards others and how they feel concerning that area of obedience. The pain of obedience rejects self and comes against everything ‘me, myself and I.’ Its a call to kill the flesh and deny self by all means.

So it is called the PAIN OF OBEDIENCE because it is birthed out of a hunger to please God and has to wrestle with the flesh to do that. It is born of selflessness and always bears fruit when the flesh is commanded to order.

The rewards of Pain of Obedience are:

1. You receive double for your trouble Isaiah 61:7-8; Zachariah 9:12

2. Peace that surpasses all understanding Phillipans 4:7

2. God fights for you and restores Romans 12:19; Deuteronomy 30

3. The spirit man is awakened to a higher level each time you obey

4. God deposits more wisdom as you give place to truth Psalm 51:6

5. Faith is boosted: Because of selflessness, one seeks God intently (Joshua 1:8 )and by hearing the word more and more, Faith to overcome is boosted (Romans 10:17)


This pain is basically the reason people need deliverance. It is pain birthed by unpleasant experiences that implant lies into our innerbeing. It is not necessarily a fact of being lied to in the physical but the fact that what has caused the pain changes our perception of life and God to a level where the WORD is mocked or is rendered powerless and untrue in our innerbeing. This also results in unbelief thus whether consciously or unconsciously we have believed a lie! This pain is a demonic stronghold and is very cunning and deceptive to the point that one can think they have dealt with it when they have not! Like a snake, it can lie idle and act like its not there when its just waiting to attack and spike its poison on the next person. Anything born of lies shuts down the heavens and creates death cycles in everything the host seeks to do.

So it is called the PAIN OF DISOBEDIENCE because it is birthed out of an inability to obey God, comply with his word and yield to his instruction. This pain is rooted in selfishness and is highly self-centred and incapable of considering other peoples feelings. The act of disobedience actually hurts others connected to the individual and there is no motion to be considerate even if it is to siblings or children.


1. It compromises the word: Very capable of misleading one using the word. In examination, the particular interpretation can be seen to contradict other portions of the WORD.

2. Lives in the past: It thrives on regret of past decision/actions, always looking at life from ‘where i could be’ instead of ‘where i want to be’. In this way people or events that derailed are never forgiven or forgotten even though the person may claim to have forgiven.

3. False hope: Creates a dream/fantasy that can never be attained outside of obedience to the WORD and the result is a lot of frustration with ‘almost’ breakthroughs. No obedience, no fruit…just counterfeits to keep you going!

4. Negative emotions: This pain houses a lot of negative emotions. The pain is associated with anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, rebellion, idolatry and pride etc. Unfortunately the host never really knows, only others can see these manifest. Most times too, the host cannot be told anything- ‘they know it all’ and are not very open to criticism or judgement

5. Lack of peace or fruitfulness: Because this pain is driven by negative emotions, there is restlessness and confusion, death cycles and lack
I encourage you brothers and sisters if you have been betrayed, violated, cheated, lied to or let down in any way and are struggling with the pain of disobedience…surrender it to God according to his instruction.


The action plan to deal with pain is what i have called the Pain, Anger points, Disappointments and Regrets Analysis (PADRA). When conducting this analysis, you will note that you had infact harboured the Spirit of Rejection as you rate the PADRAs against the word of God. Basically one is required to take an audit of their negative emotions and feelings by drawing up a two column table. State the negative feelings and emotions associated with each PADRA on one column and write a corresponding scripture attached to it on the other column i.e what the bible says about the it. THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE (John.8:32).



Accept the WORD of God as final truth and authority on the matter, even when the situation proves otherwise. The more you hold on to the truth, the more the truth becomes! Obey and yield to his word. It starts with the willingness to honour God


Activate the instruction whether it be to love your enemy, forgive those who trespass against you, give and it shall be given etc and give God his place of vengeance


GOD says wrath belongs to him and he will restore, let him be. You dont remove the pain, HE does! When you surrender, leave the wound, stop pocking it. Its nolonger yours. God can then partners with his word in you to bring healing. It is not a one day thing! You can forgive today and still feel the pain, dont let the devil lie to you that you have not forgiven.


Stay oncourse, stay focussed and begin to learn the art of love through searching the scriptures and you will eventually come to a place of innerhealing. The more the word, the more the faith, the more the power, the more the innerhealing and deliverance.

It is well oh!

Trusting you have been blessed!

Till Then
Ester H.

falling is not the problem, failing to riseUP is!


DIVORCE: It takes two to tango…

Lets be honest, every married person has at some point considered divorce. It is the greatest threat to marriage. Divorce doesn’t happen overnight. It is a carefully planned project by the enemy based on John 10:10. If he is not stealing wealth, joy and fruitfulness from the marriage, he is destroying what has been granted with the ultimate agenda of killing it. The thought of divorce visits or has visited every married person at some point. Its a never-ending assignment of the evil one so don’t feel ashamed when it crosses your mind. Most of the times the reasons are valid but should we yield?

If ever you have regretted being married to your husband or wife, whatever the reason was, that was the beginning of the project for divorce. The fact is that if he/she was the wrong person yet you carried on to vow proves that the God who makes all things happen allowed it. When you get married, you vow before God and man to keep it together and only be seperated by death. Choosing to break the marriage (divorce) means breaking the vow and betraying not only your partner but God who sealed the vows and declared, “let no man put asunder” (Mark 10:9).

As husband and wife, you are a team under instruction and answerable to whom you belong – God the author of marriage. It takes two to tango, it takes two to make a mess and it takes two to clean it up. God’s WORD is a two-edged SWORD. When as an individual, you pass judgement for divorce as if you put yourself in that marriage, as if you assigned yourself to it, as if you are the director of your own paths…you assume godship over your life, becoming your own god in the process activating the wrath of God upon your own self in ignorance!

Now in the army,  team spirit is key and solidarity matters. The whole team gets punished for the sins of one. In marriage you become one after you vow. God joins you together so that you work as a team. As a team the WORD of God is in agreement with you and that SWORD of the spirit is being held by both of you at the handle, dashing the enemy in pieces together, spotting him afar off, comanding him to order etc. (Ephesians 6:17)

However when one becomes angry, yields to the persuasion of divorce, they take their hand off the SWORD. The SWORD automatically positions itself in the middle because it takes two to tango. You both invoke the power of a two-edged SWORD, one side sharpens you and one side goes for your  partner, one suffers for wanting divorce and the other for not wanting it…blame games don’ t work because for whatever is wrong, quitting was not the solution, you vowed to be a team till death! Both of you are to blame for your current situation. This means there is nolonger teamspirit. Divorce/Quitting is judgement to break the union whose place is God and not man. For this reason wrath that is God’s is assumed by man to his destruction as it activates vengeance by God himself (Romans 12:19).

Failure to respond to the sharpening and persisting in divorce mode, means God allows it but doesn’t bless it. At this point, the ears become shut, the enemy provides scriptural backup to support an ungodly decision. The word becomes compromised and all others involved, children, extended family suffer as a result of that selfish decision. Would it not be better that for faith in God, one sticks it out in compassion for others…then God who sees that selflessness is moved to intervene and correct what is wrong? Divorce is a disgrace to God. Its an agenda of the enemy, as it opposes the very thing God stands for and used to illustrate his love for the Church. Divorce laughs at God, its a mockery of his love for the church. If God is allknowing and all powerful, can he fail to make marriage workout for your good? Your answer to this determines whether you fall for the divorce trap or not!


falling is not the problem, failing to riseUP is….


Till then

Ester H.

Create in me a clean heart part 2: Pain is a lie

…continued from Part 1


You will know that pain is based on a lie if you introspect and check what you have become or believed as a result of pain. Pain negotiates with you and changes you to a such a point that it takes charge and starts dictating how you should behave. Pain is a wicked and vicious general dispatched by the devil to keep watch and surveillance over your heart of hearts where it all happens. That place in your inward part is required by God to carry truth, the enemy in his pervasive schemes requires the same place to implant lies and deception thus hinder you from accessing wisdom for fruitful living (Psalm 51:6)


Inorder to “shield” you from further unpleasantness. The assignment of deception begins with a copying mechanism presented by pain itself, then pain monitors you intently, leading and guiding you into all manner of lies and deception- deceiving and being deceived (2 Timothy 3:13)! This is a perverted way of dealing with the pain. The method rejects God and the irony of it all is you will be in church but not ever come to this realisation unless you humble yourself. Copying mechanisms are not from God, are not based on God given wisdom/truth but make you feel better hence are a perversion of truth.

You will notice that although I have split these, they can happen simultaneously or one leading to the next or just in an interrelated manner depending on circumstances and the individual. Unfortunately, all of this is carefully planned by the enemy to derail us through his mission to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10).

1. Park the pain/problem

Here an individual will act like it (the problem or source of pain) didn’t happen and it doesn’t exist- act okay in public, broken and crushed in secret etc…

Inorder to deal with pain, an individual can resort to parking the problem or shutting it out and acting like it never happened. This is a lie. Unfortunately parked pain actually moves along with you in the adjacent lane as on a highway. It monitors you, pricks you and knocks you over occasionally even when you pretend its not there. In that way, you have believed the lie that the pain is gone because you parked it on the sideroad.

2. Replace pain/problem

Pain is normally replaced with something of interest e.g

  • church
  • school (personal development)
  • ministry
  • music
  • movies
  • gym
  • gossip
  • internet/ social media e.g facebook, twitter, whatsapp
  • soapies/movies
  • drinking
  • partying
  • sex
  • occult etc

Excessive interest in other things leading to obsession is definitely a copying mechanism. This is based on the lie that as these objects of entertainment fill us up, we become numb to the pain. Pain works very hard to convince you to exert your energies in other interests. So you are preoccupied for most of the time in temporary pleasantness and again pain – the boss shows up as and when it wills to afflict you through thoughts and memories of the ugly past. No matter how hard one tries to occupy themselves and hide in these sources of entertainment, pain not dealt with remains a timebomb in your life

3. Take charge

One of the ways in which pain deceives one into taking control is compensatory behaviour e.g being prideful, hurt others, attention seeking, lying to be accepted, cheating to gain power etc…
Taking charge is a copying mechanism that derives itself from pain that came through wicked or unfair judgement or authority by others. We question why they think they are so important and retaliate by putting the garments of power ourselves. Again this is a lie because all power belongs to God. So when we accept this kind of power conceived by the enemy in us, we become prideful. This is also birthed by such questions as “why me?” “who do they think they are?” Before we know it we are handed over a coat of pride, which becomes thicker and thicker as we harbour the pain. The coat hides us in there so that no-one can come in to hurt us ever again or so we think…

4. Revenge

One of the waus in which hurt individuals react and cope with pain is revenge. This manifests in acts of retaliation such as stealing, murder, cheating, rejecting, breaking hearts etc…which are supposed to level the ground with the world out there (perpertrators) and infact restore or get one’s power/ dignity/ status/ ego back.
Unfoetunately, when pain is not dealt with it can crown us into Hurt-Masters! The popular saying, “Hurt people hurt others” begins to manifest in lying, cheating, immorality (sexual sin in one form or another), tale-bearing, slander, breaking hearts etc to exert power and control in a way that transfers pain over to others while bringing ‘satisfaction’ to self. Sometimes all of this is done carelessly not because there’s a need to hurt others but there is a hunger to gain power (in areas of pain) that was once denied in the past (2 Timothy 3:13)!

5. Shut out

The object of shutting out is to keep to one self as the world is ‘wicked’ thus victims of pain reject, dump, leave, runaway, walkaway etc…
The coat of pride is designed to keep the world out because the world failed us and cannever be trusted again…this is another form of deception. Jeremiah 17:5 says We should never have trusted man in the first place so this becomes the lie of pain. Now instead of turning to God, we turn to ourselves, trusting our own selves to protect us from the wicked world…what a lie! To push this agenda, we walkaway from relationships ‘before we can get hurt’, reject before being rejected etc. We become conditioned to run and unfortunately we also release these negative energies causing the earth and its fullness to repel us. The system is always two-way because God made it so (Matthew 7:2). If we hurt, we get hurt. If we love, we get loved. If we forgive, we are forgiven.

6. Surrender

Surrender is a copying mechanism characterised by shame, despair, distress, stress etc …
The end game of pain culminates in anger, grief, sorrow, shame, surrender and depression. All of these negative emotions are experienced because of deception. Infact simply because they are not God’s portion for his loved ones, they are a lie. The worst part of it all is dying because of pain ultimately the enemy will have fulfilled his mission according to john 10:10.

Will you be a victim?

In conclusion, The first psalm declares clearly that if we delight on the law of the lord, which has nothing to do with most of our copying mechanisms, we will be fruitful and taken care of. For this reason living in pain and refusing to deal with it means living outside of instruction of God and choosing the lies of the enemy to our destruction.

If your life is unfruitful today, ask God in his faithfulness to create in you a clean heart Psalm 51:10. After that you must be obedient enough to follow his instruction because HE instructs and you do accordingly then HE cleanses. It depends on your willingness as an individual to be obedient. God will not force his way. Proverbs 20:27 says God uses the spirit of a man as a lamp to search the inward parts.

In Part 3, we conclude this series by discussing the action plan to deal with pain

RiseUp Conqueror!!!!

Thank you for reading this post, don’t forget to like the page and share. Till then,


falling is not the problem, failing to rise up is…


Till then

Ester H.



According to the online dictionary, pain is a highly unpleasant feeling in the physical body that is associated with negative emotions or experiences that include and are not limited to the following:

  • Sorrow
  • Grief
  • Distress
  • Misery
  • Discomfort
  • Affliction
  • Torment
  • Trauma
  • Despair
  • Desolation
  • Agony
  • Heartache
  • Heartbreak

So because these feeling are experienced in the innermost being and they can’t be touched, it is difficult to see them from outside and so we can consider them to be spiritual entities. Note also that as a human body with a spiritual body, it is safe to translate the definition to, “ a highly unpleasant spiritual sensation”

The subject of PAIN is very important in kingdom living because it is the centre of deliverance and innerhealing. People basically need deliverance from torment by the enemy. This torment mostly manifests as anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, shame, rebellion, pride and stubbornness amongst other demonic spirits basically being drawn in from a focal point of pain. In the zone of pain, one normally feels a blockade or barrier from pleasantness. It is like access has been denied into a more desired state of being. This is rejection. Rejection in itself is a spiritual stronghold commanding other spirits mentioned above. Once you register pain because of words or actions against you, the pain starts to actively attract these spirits of opposition through fake sources of strength and before you know it, instead of yielding and surrendering to the Holy Spirit, you have sold yourself to the devil. If the pain continues unattended, the demonic takes over to a point where one can be rendered incapable of continuing with life. The enemy, the devil is the father of lies. So from ancient times, his strategy is to implant a lie in the innermost part of our being using experiences that will imprint pain. To get deliverance means we have to get rid of the lie and replace it with God ordained truth. Scripture says in Psalm 51:6,

“Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.”

Now because God requires truth in the inward parts, the devil perverts that inward space with lies, his co-business. Therefore, if things are not inorder in your life and you are not experiencing fruitfulness as a child of God, check the innerman! It might be worth the while to embark on a journey of self deliverance and innerhealing. Displace the pain, replace it with truth and get freedom form the above mentioned negative emotions or trauma associated with experiencing them. If and only if we show our commitment to let go, God will come in with his gentle mercies and reveal the wisdom necessary to go forward in peace. The diagram below shows some of the areas which draw from pain and are themselves caused by pain.

Interestingly, all these negative emotions are interrelated and you will find that if one is not causing or leading to the other, it is infact coming as a result of the other- ALL drawing from their focal point PAIN and being exalted by pain themselves in an ongoing back and forth process. Only the individual can rise up to stop this vicious cycle before it utterly destroys one. Therefore the bottom line is pain is pain and pain is one!

To be continued…part 2

Thank you for reading this post, don’t forget to like the page and share. Join me again in part 2 as we look at pain as a lie


Till then,
Ester H.

falling is not the problem, failing to rise up is…