OFFENSE: Peace of Mind vs Piece of Mind.

Dear Conquerors,

Welcome to this post where we will discuss the issue of Offenses. Offenses attract a lot of activity in the mind and according to the bible, they are inevitable therefore a key factor in our journey as Christians. Scripture records,

“Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!”

(Matthew 18:7 KJV)

In this scripture, the punishment already awaits the offender but in real life the offended have been seen to suffer as a result of the offense just because of lack of this needful knowledge. Worsestill, this has often led to uncessesary and sometimes even costly actions. A Christian can become so offended that they will opt out of Christendom just so they can pull up their sleeves and deal with the offender personally. Simply put, when someone is offended, their rights to ‘Peace of Mind’ are threatened. I have noticed that there are 2 sides to the wonderful coin called peace of mind. On the one side, one experiences tranquility or total freedom and liberty in the innerman and ofcourse that manifests externally. On the other side one is driven by a lack of tranquility and liberty inside and that continues to press one to act in what is normally referred to as ‘giving piece of mind’. So its either you have the peace of mind or are giving piece of mind.

Peace of Mind

The Ndebele have a saying that goes, “umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu” while the English say, “no man is an island.” In essence to be- is to live with others and amongst people. Now to experience peace of mind, the relationships we build around us have to be healthy. Unfortunately we can always bump into individuals out there who will threaten our peace making our efforts to 100% peace unrealistic. We will from time to time come across people whose own selfish decisions and actions will infringe on our own rights to peace and tranquility. This however seems to hurt more when it happens at the mercy of our loved ones or people we trust although outsiders can treat us in equally hurtful ways. Sometimes our own pride issues set us up with offense because of entitlement. Entitlement is an evil force within that puts an expectation on others without their consent or agreement. Unfortunately that is putting trust in flesh and therein lies a curse (Jeremiah 17:5)! Peace of mind becomes not only the experience of peace itself but also the ability to maneuver ones way in the midst of hostility and still remain safe and tranquil internally. It will normally also extend to the ability to observe a storm and quiet it without causing havoc as it is impossible to avoid disturbance at one point or the other in life. Being a peace lover is the key ingredient to having peace of mind because then one can deliberately pursue it even in the face of opposition. As Christians following after Jesus Christ who himself is the Lamb of Peace, it should be in our nature to seek peace and pursue it.

Peace lovers are lovers of God and of mankind. They put on love even in the most difficult places or circumstances so that peace may prevail. Keeping your cool when threatened, offended or unsettled is not an easy thing hence the Psalmist wrote,

Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.” (Psalm 141:3KJV)

Like Christ, revile not when reviled, threaten not in the face of offense and most importantly commit all to the righteous judgement of God.

Piece of Mind

Piece of mind is when a heart is broken and this leads to a broken mind (mind torn into pieces). In simple terms, when information is received that oppposes own self, it destabilises that place where notions of self are made. In other words that place is invaded or scattered by this new negative concept received. This becomes the beginning of an insult or offense which will graduate into disappointment then brokenness going on to anger sometimes even bitterness or unforgiveness etc as long as that incoming info is not dealt with properly or expelled. So when the heart is broken then the mind is broken and one is unable to make sense of their surroundings until they have put their heart together the best way they know how. They just want the pieces together or back in their place so they can function normally. To do this one either follows a wordly system or godly system. The wordly system is inspired by self protection, driven by pain and manifests itself in the need to settle the score with the offender (self pride). The thought pattern is like, “You have scattered my mind so let’s share the pieces so you know what it feels like“. My Pastor used to say that, “you will give piece of mind until you are left with no mind”. The problem is that when the mind is in pieces, one is not thinking straight but is instead consumed with the need to take back the control they feel has been stolen by the offender. When people give a piece of their mind, they usually override biblical teaching, superimpose themself over the situation and their offender mostly to satisfy their bruised ego. They fail to realise that the reason they have the urge to give (lose) part of their mind is because someone made up their mind to disrespect, dishonour and hurt them whether intentionally or unintentionally. Eitherway, the fact that you have to pursue your honour that has been seized (so to speak) by the offender means that:

1. They are still controlling you as you meditate back and forth on how they offended you

2. They don’t care, that’s why they have not come to apologise and now you have to go after them

3. They will likely counter attack you and make you feel worse off

4. Your heart will experience further breaking and that means more pieces in your already shattered mind

The thing is that if a person can offend and not be human enough to apologise, they have actually mastered the art of offense to levels where any attempt to settle the score will be met with fire. The subtility of their snakey attitude works in them so much that they will twist the whole thing against you and leave you feeling more devastated than you bargained for. This is a well thought out assignment of the enemy as seen in John 10:10 (to kill, steal and destroy). After registering an insult the mind is provoked into a hunger to gather more points or weapons to fight for one’s dignity. Meanwhile, operation derail the Christian is underway! While burning with desire to get even, the focus has been removed from Christ to the offense and the offender alike.

Divine Settlement

Now, the godly way of pursuing peace and settling matters is following God’s own way. This is inspired by divine protection, driven by love and manifests itself in the healing of the Holy Ghost and humility. Even Godlovers are not immune to offense and/or heartbreak and therefore will have their mind in pieces from time to time. Instead of giving off a piece or pieces, the godly way would be to pursue wholeness of heart by seeking the healing of God through the Holy Spirit our comforter.

Divine Peace

Divine peace is that which gives ‘peace of mind’. It is the kind of peace we get when we neglect to fight our own battles but surrender them to the God of armies in obedience to his word. Apart from an open invitation to bring our burdens to the throne (Matthew 11:28-29; Psalm 55:22), we also learn,

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”

(Romans 12:19 KJV)

As such the work of settling the score becomes God’s own territory. He is the father of all spirits and creator of mankind. He would know better how to deal with his creation (the offender) to get the victory due to you. While you are consumed by the offense and are hard on it, he folds his arms and watches you make a fool of your self. Only when you have kicked, pratted, run out of energy and wasted time will he then speak. If you are ready to obey, then he can grab the bull by the horns and deal with the issue in his time, at his pace and how he wants it done. Still you have to submit to his rule. For Christians one of the most painful journeys to walk as far as offenses are concerned is the journey of forgiveness especially as the offender may seem to carry on with their life unmoved and seemingly unpunished sometimes for long too. Unfortunately, it is only through forgiveness that one can then walk out of prison and experience peace of mind. All aspects of this divine act in the face of offense (whether we are guilty or innocent) are unbearable but needful. Sometimes we offend God himself as we act prideful and unapologetic to God in those instances where we feel the negative emotions and feelings we harbour (and eventually convert into negative actions) are justified because we are the ones wronged. Sometimes we fall on the receiving end of offense because we first offended. Christians usually step on other people’s toes and try to justify their actions by magnifying the retaliative actions of offenders. In this way, they do not consider the speck in their own eyes but God requires it to be attended to first (Matthew 7:3). All prayer going out to God for vengeance when the speck is right there yields no fruits and amounts to wasted time in pride and disobedience.

So its either we get offended straight up because of what has nothing to do with us (innocent) or we get offended because we did something wrong ourselves to the offender (guilty). Moreover, our intentions may even been right and clean before God but not necessarily right or appreciated (by others) and therefore taken as offensive. In both scenarios, we could catch feelings, take it personal which then interferes with our ability to forgive. Thus, the heartbreak which leads to a pierced mind would either inspire us to give piece of mind or hold our peace and let God settle the score.

Lastly let us take a look at this inspiring scripture

¹ I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a bridle, while the wicked is before me.

Shut the mouth (exit point) of what is conceived by a scattered mind

2 I was dumb with silence, I held my peace, even from good; and my sorrow was stirred.

Hold your peace, It will hurt but…

3 My heart was hot within me, while I was musing the fire burned: then spake I with my tongue,

Open your mouth only to the Lord, PRAY!

4 Lord, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is: that I may know how frail I am.

Talk about his power and meditate on his promises

5 Behold, thou hast made my days as an handbreadth; and mine age is as nothing before thee: verily every man at his best state is altogether vanity. Selah.

Life is too short!

6 Surely every man walketh in a vain shew: surely they are disquieted in vain: he heapeth up riches, and knoweth not who shall gather them.

The worldy things are vanity,

7 And now, Lord, what wait I for? my hope is in thee.

Hope in God not Man! Release man to God who made him.

8 Deliver me from all my transgressions: make me not the reproach of the foolish.

Repent…cleanup the innerman

9 I was dumb, I opened not my mouth; because thou didst it.

The Lord directs your paths

10 Remove thy stroke away from me: I am consumed by the blow of thine hand.

Remember God is in charge and you are in his hands through it all, not man and his offense

11 When thou with rebukes dost correct man for iniquity, thou makest his beauty to consume away like a moth: surely every man is vanity. Selah.

You are at the mercy of God. Submit to him and Be obedient

12 Hear my prayer, O Lord, and give ear unto my cry; hold not thy peace at my tears: for I am a stranger with thee, and a sojourner, as all my fathers were.

Ask God for justice

13 O spare me, that I may recover strength, before I go hence, and be no more.

Let God heal you!

That said, I trust this post has been helpful and that you found the bible study eye-opening. Giving a piece of mind is scattered mind business. It is ego business and no place for the serious minded Christian. It is a total waste of Kingdom time and never makes things better but instead grants temporary satisfaction and an insatiable hunger to vindicate self and gain back lost pride. Unfortunately, the more own agenda is pursued inplace of God’s the more one sinks into opposition agenda. As such, it is not necessary to give a piece of mind and after all is said and done holding your peace (of mind) invites God himself to bring justice and reward you with double for your trouble and shame (Isaiah 61:7; Job 42:10; Zechariah 9:12).

“Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you.” (2 Corinthians 13:11 KJV)

That’s it for today till then, riseUPconqueror!!!!!!

Signing out,

Ester H.

Remember falling is not the problem, failling to riseUP is…

Conditioned to take the hit…

…and move on!

Greetings Conquerors,

Welcome to this post where we want to discuss taking the hit and rising up to go forward. The art of moving on is a subject that rubs heartbroken or grieving souls the wrong way most times. People are not usually ready to accept that things have changed and so the very reality of moving forward into an uncertain future becomes offensive in thought and in any conversation with loved ones.

Taking the hit means being the receiver of a bullet meant for you or another. One is going to be wounded and if they must move on, they have to riseUP. After rising up, one will either be stuck in the past or brave it to look ahead and embrace the future. Being conditioned for the hit is a warrior mindset. It is the ability to discern battle (danger or the possibility of it) and taking up arms to defend territory. In life, taking up arms is consistent with fighting to preserve whatever is there in that moment or is left and this is where the bone of contention is.  Sometimes arms are to be applied in picking up the pieces and moving on. The wisdom to moveon and how if danger strikes is something seasoned soldiers can do. In Shona we say, “Mbwende hadzikundi!” This means cowards or weaklings will never win. People normally find it difficult to pick themselves up after experiencing traumatic events or encountering curve balls.  This is because they only ever trained themselves or where trained by their keepers for comfort. Resillience, rising up and soldiering on becomes the result of preparedness and the courage that goes with taking the hit.

What we will discuss today therefore is a work that needs to have been oncourse before the hit as generally when one is already hit and they are clueless rising up tends to be a difficult task though not impossible. In anycase, this work can be done after the fall with emotionally rewarding results too. How does one take the hit and move on? The thing about traumatic events or heartbreaking episodes in our lives is that it always invites a lot of questions to self which becomes breeding ground for buggage/rot (negative energy or bad thoughts, feelings, emotions and then negative actions or behaviour) in the innerman. Self that took the hit unarmed will obviously have no reservoir of answers, tips or strategies to move on. The persistant urge to get answers from nothingness can be an emotionally wounding and heart-rending experience. However, where there is wisdom, this can be a defining moment, a moment of truth and infact a turning point for some.

Now one can only move on if they are self-aware and have a clear understanding of who they are and the situation they find themselves in. That awareness must be true and not false. An awareness of self that is based on the world is consistent with flesh, the body, the senses and basically a deathlane and therefore false. However the person who is self-aware in the spirit and not world is on a lifelane and being based on Christ tends to have wisdom for the next move. While the latter is conditioned to take the hit and move on, the former will formulate one or other copying mechanism which will come back to bite them when they least expect it.

So, everyone has a false and true identity and moving on becomes successful when one can differentiate between the two, kill the false and awaken to the true identity. Lets take a look at these identities below.

1. Discovering your False (Old) Identity in the World

As humans we operate on 3 levels viz the body (world, flesh), soul (will power, mind, emotions) and spirit (the God part, breath). To be self-aware is to understand how these work and more importantly to activate unity amongst them, each part playing its rightful role well. Conflict in the whole self brings confusion to the individual and therefore a false identity i.e lack of self-awareness in truth. You can read more about conflict in the body, soul and spirit here. When there is conflict, one will pick up gabbage in the innerman in that space where God desires truth. The enemy of progress who is the enemy of mankind knows how important that space is and targets it also to activate flesh (falsehood) inorder to amass rot in that same space where God desires cleanliness. This leads to conflict in the tripatite (3 part) being, confusion and therefore false identity. To discover ones false identity means to evaluate what one has become as a result of the their past. The idea is to establish open doors or antennas that are sending waves to the enemy camp and attracting him to come to you, torment you using that which is in you that infact belongs to him e.g rejection, heartbreak, pain, unforgiveness, bitterness, unresolved anger, rebellion, sin, pride etc (whereas the opposites belong to God as seen in e.g Galatians 5:22). Our anchor scripture is Psalm 51:6. If that innerspace can be clean, the Lord himself will put wisdom in it for your victory, peace and prosperity in all things Joshua 1:9

a) Self-Introspection

NB* Please do seperate yourself when doing this work. Its not a random job that one can do while doing other things. You have to take the time out and focus. You will be revisiting some of the most painful episodes of your life. You will cry and when you do, cry unto God not empty space (If you do not direct your tears to God, the opposition awaits them with counterfeit forms of comfort and support). Reach out to God, him who resides in you and is your comforter. You are encouraged to journal/write down your points as you do the work. Writing equates to offloading the buggage and emptying yourself. Again deliberately offload and empty it to Christ so that you can recieve true wisdom (to replace the offloaded rot) and not the counterfeit.

Take an ‘inventory’ of your life since childhood as far back as you can remember to see

i) pain areas
ii) regrets

iii) anger points

iv) disappointments
v) anxieties-fears
vi) sinful or occultic activities of self or by association…, disobedience to the word, rituals, covenants, spiritual objects or regalia etc

A look at the above list will reveal your identity or what you have become because of what you have gone through, done or believed. This is your false identity. To transition from this false identity one needs to forgive, repent, forget the past and move on by embracing the future.

b) Forgiveness

The above are consistent with events and those events have people attached. The next step is to make a list of the people involved. After this, forgive yourself and forgive the characters in the book of your life thus far that offended you. If you find it difficult to forgive, put a star against the name and move on with the list. You must revisit this later amd make things right with God whose law it is to forgive. It is highly likely that God was blamed too for all the bad things that happened. In this way, you also need to forgive God…not that he needs your forgiveness but that you blamed him. This way, you can open up your heart to trust him again as you take responsibility for your actions.

c) Repentance

After dealing with other people’s wrongs, it is time to face and deal with your own wrongs. Where you yourself offended others or God (forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who tresspass against us), you now have to repent. This means submitting to God in asking him for forgiveness for sins committed against others or self, thereby offending him as the instructor and God Almighty. This may also involve destroying or casting away covenantal objects or anything you possess that tied or connected you to idolatry or other gods so worshipped. Maybe it wasnt worship but help sought from occultic priests and seers. Repenting means withdrawing any sort of belief in these, asking God for forgiveness and sometimes even on behalf of the entire bloodline. It is certain that the idolatry of our ancestors will always have waves reaching out to us if we ourselves do not have a firm standing in Christ. Apart from the possibility of being dedicated to these spirits of falsehood as babies or children, the covenants, rituals and spiritual promises of our predecessors will always hover above our heads to seduce us into following the same path. We therefore owe it to ourselves amd generations that follow to act differently and let the curse(s) end with us.

d) Forgetting

Now that unforgiveness and unrepentance are out of the way, you are now a new creation. ‘Old things are passed away and all things are become new’ (2 Corintians 5:17). Make peace with the past (which is unchanheable) and move on to the future (you can affect). Forget doesn’t mean literally forgetting because its impossible to forget what actually happened. It means from today onwards, your errors, what & who affended you and what wounded you ceases to be called up in conversations and particularly decisions and actions going forward. You now act according to the word of God and it’s a deliberate choice you have to make always. Christ whom you invited into your life now inspires your views and perceptions about life. He is now the filter in yoir ears and the lense in your eyes. Therefore, let him arise and affect your decisions.

2. Discovering your True (New) Identity in Christ

After accepting the past, realising that with full assurance in Christ, the future offers so much more than the past, one is set to move on.

a) Journaling

Journaling is the art of writing. It is a gateway that can help in sorting out thoughts, feelings and emotions before they are translated into actions. It is a deliberate effort to interpret happenings and align actions with the instruction of the word of God. Through journaling a christian becomes spiritually self-aware in truth and it gets better everyday with new wisdom gained from the holy texts. Ps* where one put a star in unforgiveness, more knowledge of God should enable one to forgive totally by understanding that holding on to God is better than holding on to a wrong or wrongdoer.As recorded in Proverbs,”But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.

Proverbs 4:18

How to Journal

1. Come naked and unashamed to God. Write and express your raw thoughts with all due reverence and respect for his holiness. Don’t pretend to be holy because he knows everything. This way you can lay your heart bare before his throne.2. Look at these thoughts and convert them into prayers. Talk to your father about the way you feel and why. Again unashamed, let him know what you would want and what your expectation is from him.3. Now go into the word and seek answers to each prayer/issue. This means you ask what the word teaches about each issue. This way you are asking for God’s own opinion on what you have reported to him about your experiences or others and what you yourself want. As you hear him speak (through reading his word) relay the message back to yourself as the final say.4. Now that you know word requires and have acxeoted it, its time tonask for help in observing the finality of the word of truth. Re-align your thoughts with the word. If God says it, every contrary thing is a lie and must be cut off instantly…do not negotiate with Flesh when God has spoken. This part demands that you spend time with God in his word. If you do not know his word, you will not know how to re-align with him and that means your life will not change. It will also be difficult to believe him or forgive. You can only do what God says if you believe him and can only believe him if you know him. The more you know him, the more you can trust him well enought to obey him. The light only shines brighter as you transform into being like him. He is the light!5. Meditate on new thoughts. Chew on the word until you feel it in your system. Let the fire of the Holy Spirit awaken you as you pray about ut all. Superimpose truth of the word on self or demonically imposed truth which infact are lies. Declare the truth without ceasing, praising and thanking God for release from lies to freedom in truth. This becomes your lifestyle going forward.6. Be principled. Do not go back to the vomit like a dog! Keep walking and do not look back except for purposes of teaching others or giving testimony. Celebrate truth and continue to impose it. This way you can gracefully expect things to change.

3. Moving on, the reality…

Every step discussed above from forgiveness, repentance and forgetting to journaling looks easy on paper but can become very complicated and unrealistic when it comes to actioning it especially after a hit! It can be likened to a situation in which one is diagnosed with a growth that needs to be removed surgically. If this growth remains, it continues to grow and cause havoc or interfere with other body parts/functions and the worst case scenario is death. If it is removed, the person is saved and other body parts will be able to function normally again. Lets take a look at the aftermath of surgery as compared to moving on after taking a hit…Let us consider that the work of discovering the false and true identities, through self- introspection and journaling is infact the consultation with the doctor, the diagnosis and surgery that follows culminating in the removal of the growth (gabbage built up in the innerman e.g unforgiveness, unrepentance etc) and the healed self will be the result of discovering the true identity.Next, considering that Surgery involves sharp tools, injections, cutting, piercing and strong medications…Life will not be back to normal for some time and healing will definately be a process. Knowing and Understanding what is happening as well as being patient to heal will make things easier.After beginning this work, intimidation is going to set in as the past begins to unsettle the individual. The pain or trauma in revisting the past to outst it will be e messy affair too (cutting, piercing, sewing). Most people even dread to start and those that do may give up when the ‘after surgery’ pain kicks in and they get confused. Now after surgery,

  • Patient has painful wounds/scars with the risk of infections that can even be toxic or life threatening Dealing with Past is Painful
  • The patient has to be on medication. Meditation, Prayer and Worship all bring Healing
  • The patient is given instructions and precautions for selfcare afterwards. Obedience to the Word of God stops Infection
  • Pain and sometimes sleepless nights including painful memories of experiences leading to the surgery, the surgery itself and now the healing process Trauma, Flashbacks, Visions, Sounds or Voices from Past are part of the Healing Process.
  • the growth is destroyed or burnt never to be seen again After casting of Burdens to Christ, It is Finished.

The scars or wounds are like a seducing spirit. Its like, they are your identity and define you. They persuade you to keep living in them because that’s who you have been thus far and the marks testify. This way you are not focused on cleaning them as with the salt water (word of God-Jesus the salt of the earth) or medicine may hurt or cause discomfort. You also feel like its that part of you that you can never part with yet you more than everybody else knows how it upsets you and draws you into negativity instead of positivity. As it were, infection will make the pain worse! Treat the wound! The past happened and cannot be forgotten. When we say forgive and forget, its becomes a great misunderstanding in that we can never ever forget what truly happened. Infact the attempt to enter a zone where we nolonger have these painful memories and the realisation that they just can’t be erased is what makes the journey of forgiveness, repentance and or moving on painful because we then wonder why we can’t seem to forget! Sometimes the images of the surgery itself and/or sickeness (self-introspection and events) leading to it (e.g rejection, dying loved one, accident, physical abuse etc) keep flashing in our minds and threatening our sanity. Yet we must forget and move on they say! How? Well yes, it is unrealistic to forget what actually did take place. Sometimes it repeatedly took place too! Rejection upon rejection, frustration upon frustration, failure upon failure, sickness upon sickness or loss upon loss etc etc. However as with surgery, the procedure introduces more pain because of the wounds. Then the trauma of events that caused the wounds may cause flashbacks and sometimes hearing of voices or visions. Looking at the wounds and picking them constantly without applying medication or cleaning them will just lead to infection which can be lethal. However, with medication and following precautions (meditation on the word, worship and prayer) one will be totally healed and free from the pain overtime. It is important to note that after surgery, the growth (gabbage) taken out is destroyed never to be seen again and this is the idea behind forgeting. Yes you know it happened but its nolonger a part of you now because you have removed it by surrendering all to Christ. “Forget” is that once you have forgiven yourself and others, the past has to immediately stop being a part of your future mindset, self and decisions going forward. Given that the past is destroyed after surgery, attempting to go back to it is like madness as there is nothing there in essence. Christ now owns the past amd he says “it is finished”. It is now off limits to you. Consequently after surrendering the past, people who find themselves going back to that vomit are likely to encounter challenges in their mental health if they do not command themselves to order in the word. In moving on, you ‘forget’ the past when thinking and responding to those same people (or even others or God) now and in the future. Its like you don’t hold theirs or your past actions against you anymore because like Christ you actually say “forgive them Lord for they don’t (didnt) know what they do (did)’. Its like you now understand that something had to be terribly wrong with them or yourself internally to exhibit or experience those manifestations or expressions in that past that derailed you. As you become a better person yourself, you actually plead with heaven that they do not continue like that for the sake of their future and others around them still. The same applies to your view of self (interms of e.g regrets or disappointments) or God (e.g for not blessing you the way you would have prefered). The unity you now have with Christ means they can no longer affect you in that same way now so you do not need to fight so hard to protect yourself. God is faithful to preserve you now if you are faithful to be obedient to his word.Therefore, everyone will take the hit at somepoint in their life. Are you conditioned to take the hit?? The journey of discovering your false identity and then replacing it with your true identity can be a painful experience. As with surgery, it is needful and when one understands what is going on and is patient and obedient to walk the journey of healing, the rewards far outweigh the comfort zone of copying mechanisms and not dealing with it and moving on.

That’s it Conquerors!

Till then

One Love

Ester H.

NB* Please note that to embark on this journey one first needs to be born again. This is the act of surrender to Jesus Christ by accepting him as personal Lord and Saviour. One needs to believe first that he is the Son of God and that he died on the cross to redeem them from Sin.For more information on this do email

remember falling is not the problem, failing to riseUP isriseUPconqueror!!!!