MARRIAGE IS A CALLING CHAPTER 2: WISDOM OF THE VOWS Part 1
The wisdom of Vows is an indispensable requirement for both men and women in the marriage institution. Vows are significant in marriage because it is because of them that a marriage exists in the first place. Vows become challenged when there is discord in the union leading to disunity, curse, coldness culminating in divorce. The seeds of divorce are sown right from the beginning of marriage because the enemy seeks to destroy anything that represents God. As I mentioned in chapter 1, God used marriage to show his love for his own people. He went on to liken the relationship between husband and wife with that between Jesus and the Church. Therefore, a couple either activates divorce seeds or deactivates them along the way. Activation or deactivation of divorce seeds is a continuous process and couples must be on the lookout, jointly making deliberate effort to honour their vows and keep it together. There is enough drama in a day’s work to send someone running from their vows so if you have ever considered divorce, are thinking about it or have been through it, just know that somewhere somehow there was/is an active assignment against your vows from day 1 and whether you know it or not, you are at liberty to partner with the enemy or with God. The unfortunate thing is that, mankind often partners with the enemy in ignorance.
Having a man on the throne who knows how to rule his house and a woman on assignment who knows how to help her King is the best thing that can happen to a marriage. The next thing is to honour or pay your vows according to Ecclesiastes 5:4. Now some will argue that marriage vows are vows between man and man (woman) not man and God for this reason they will not be sinning against God if they break them. This is not so. At the wedding/marriage ceremony, God bears witness in the covenant as he declares that the joining must not be put asunder by man (Mark 10:8-9). He takes over the ceremony declaring himself the one who joins the two together, making them one flesh. Yet some will have more than 10 reasons and justifications for leaving their man. Chief among them is always, he is the wrong person for me. Surprisingly it was your own choice. What changed? Maybe I should be asking, “what didn’t change?” Yes, that’s right, people marry with the hope of perfecting him. Although this must be avoided, it is not impossible for a man to change. However, every woman must forget about changing their man. You did not create him, you simply can’t change him. God Can! Only if you surrender to him and stop meddling.
Staying true to your vows means honouring the one who instituted marriage in the first place. While the crunch of the matter for women is based on honouring the husband as your head, you are simply called to reflect your personal love for God by honouring that which he ordained as your head and according to his will. The parallel between marriage and Gods love for the church is not by chance. God made it so, to show how important this institution is to him, For this reason the enemy does not rest working 24/7 in a marriage to sow seeds of divorce. The enemy watches you, stalks you and plants his seeds while you are unaware. The key to beating the enemy is always calling to remembrance your vows and your assignment. How do you do this in the face of adversity, when the man has abandoned his manly duties, or when he has defiled the marital bed. Worsestill, yours could be a situation of extended family pressure and interference or even physical abuse . What if it’s a case of prolonged sickness or emotional and verbal abuse. How do you forge ahead in keeping your vows? Honestly some of these challenges are enough to strip you of your wisdom of the assignment garments.
After a 5-year separation from my husband, my vows were called to remembrance in a place of prayer. I contended with God for months to the point where in order to stay true to his word in 1 Corinthians. I promised to stay single if that was what it would take to get him off my back with this vows thing. I Corinthians 7:10-12 would not let me be! Going back to the man felt like the worst nightmare, so I was prepared to go it alone all the days of my life, at least so I thought. However this was not God’s plan so he continued to sit heavy on me, not giving me a chance to breathe until I gave in. The day that I said “YES Lord”, is the day the burden and the heaviness was lifted off my shoulder. I felt peace like never before. Meanwhile my husband was still the same old person I left and I was dreading. The worst thing was going back to the family home because that’s where I had suffered the most emotionally until I gave up. This was where my assignment was set to restart! I was supposed to go back there and undergo ‘spiritual cleansing’ as I now refer to it. Yes, spiritual bootcamp! Sharpening the fruits of the spirit. I believe this is one part of the assignment that challenges the vows for most women. Many times when the extended family gives us problems we want to run away or we retaliate. Both of these actions smash all the fruits of the Holy Spirit in us and render us useless as children of God. You get a bad report and that just kills and condemns your fruitfulness in marriage and beyond.
The Ndebele say “umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu” As humans we need each other and no man is an island. Since charity begins at home, if you cannot love your in-laws as yourself how do you expect to love the world? You become bitter, unforgiving, angry and sometimes an emotional wreck without knowing it. Of course this affects your own marriage negatively and before you know it you might be looking for a way out of the relationship just so maybe there is peace outside. Sometimes its just the rejection by in-laws a woman can endure but for how long? Rejection in itself is a demonic stronghold and in most cases begins well before we get married and our inlaws just play into that story because of the condition of their own hearts. Unhealthy extended family relationships challenge vows and can either tear the marriage apart or cause you to run! One of the things that makes it impossible to stay is the spirit of pride. Once we have been hurt, we question the very presence of God and that’s how we begin to undermine our vows. We elevate ourselves and remove God from that picture becoming our own gods and having a final say. We even question his very presence at the alter and the enemy’s cunningness at this point can convince you that God did not ordain the relationship and it will be better to leave it because God was not a part of it in the first place. What nonsense!
…to be continued in part 2
See you again in part 2, keep reading
To every woman that is married, I salute you.
You are a Soldier,
You are a Fighter,
You are a Warrior,
You are a General,
You are a Conqueror
Thank you for reading this post, don’t forget to like the page and share. Till then,
Falling is not the problem, Failing to rise up is…RiseUP Conqueror!!!
Falling is not the problem, Failing to rise up is…RiseUP Conqueror!!!