Barriers and Challenges to Positive Communication
The fact that communication is imparting or exchanging information means that if this doesn’t not occur there is a barrier or wall that has prevented successful communication. This unfortunate occurrence kills relationships at both personal and business levels. The major cause of this is the absence of the fruits of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). In its simplest form this can be equated to rebellion. Refusal to exhibit the divine nature which is already on the inside of one. This opens way for perversion which automatically takes over the space in our hearts intended for spiritual fruits. Regrettably, this is also a sign of selfishness, a trait that exalts self above others. It makes it impossible to minister the fruits of the spirit as one becomes pre-occupied with their own bargain. Consequently, God comes after this act of disobedience with vengeance, shutting down rebellious ears and exposing the culprit to further wickedness (Romans 11:6; Romans 1:28). It must be noted that because the one who causes perversion (devil) is subtle, defilement is not a one-day thing and by the time one sees the devil in the mirror, it may be too late.
So unless repentance is actioned, that downward trend continues to dry up the spiritual fruit-tree. Now because as humans we are pre-destined to produce fruit (Isaiah 6:10), that lack of fruit becomes a point of pain especially because of the confusion caused by the ignorance of being a partaker in drying the tree. Any tree that is dry is a portion for the fire and so the life begins to resemble that of being cut down, dragged, stacked, broken/cut, pulled and burnt. It also reflects trouble, no fixed aboard, unquecheable desires and thirst. Ultimately, this begins to show in the way communication is handled and the fruits of these evil labours include communication executed in anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, rebellion, pride, betrayal and disappointment etc. Every human being is exposed to negative communication from time to time. How the information is received and decoded is determined by the existence of the fruits of the spirit embedded in the God kind of love. While negative communicators harbour negative emotions and intensify them in their agenda decoding and releasing information from a negative angle, positive communicators receive information from a love perspective and respond with uncompromising love and compassion for a fellow human being. While getting hurt by negative communication is inevitable, the way positive communicators handle the pain and process sets them apart for comfort and victory. The culture of keeping the filters clean is a deliberate process by obedient individuals who seek not their own glory but that of God the creator. Without him, personal agendas will always be manipulated by the enemy to further his own kingdom principles. If he can manipulate the transmittal of information then he has ruled!
In short, the challenges are as follows:
- Information may be incorrectly articulated by the transmitter: Choice of words and medium may wrongly communicate the intended message (miscommunication)
- Information may be incorrectly decoded by the receiver: The receiver may assign the wrong meaning to the words received based on the status of covenant, prevailing circumstances, previous experience and context.
- Information may be blocked by receiver and totally rejected before transmittal: This may be due to a bad track record in giving reliable or positive information therefore source becomes blacklisted.
- Information may be transmitted but ignored: This may be due to either a blacklisted source, unreliable source or just lack trust and of covenant between parties. In other instances the covenant may be present but taken for granted because of the absence of clarity on the rules or terms of the covenant e.g in a marriage a wife may expect flowers without ever making it known to the husband who may not be as romantic as she expects
How to know if your filters (ears) are contaminated
- No regard for the Holy Spirit in you. Personal pride reigns, negative emotions are harboured and there’s no effort to bring alignment with the instruction of the Word.
- Easily offended. Everytime you leave a conversation you are either drained, frustrated and confused
- You let your negative emotions speak, always scheming
- Inability to control oneself, full of anger and vengeance,
- You have no emotional intelligence to manage yours and other’s emotions for positive outcomes
- Unteachable spirit, An ‘i know it all attitude’ that can’t be told anything
- You are a dreamer who is locked-up in fantasyland and can’t figure out how to escape present unpleasantness…you do not have a plan
As it were, these tell-tell signs are inter-related and are one at the end of the day because the agenda is one to cause disorder.
Unfirtunately also these signs are not clearcut especially when it comes to self~proclaimed ‘mature christians’. This bunch of people in the church is a very tricky one in some instances because when people have grown in the Lord, they may get familiar with Him to a point were they tell him what should happen without noticing that they are now operating in pride and disobedience. A perfect example is a mature Christian that will take offense, react from that prideful stance and disregard the very presence of God that is supposed to guard their mouth and actions. Unfortunately they grieve the Holy Spirit in the process and there is no attitude of repentance shaming the very word they are supposed to preach.
How to Overcome:
- Honesty: Integrity is vital. Be honest, start by admitting that you have a problem and commit to telling the TRUTH always!
- Humility: Accept that you are not perfect. Be prepared to be vulnerable, confess your weaknesses
- Wisdom: Change your mindset and prepare it to learn new positive ways of information exchange.
- Teachable: Be prepared to learn and to be taught. Always look forward to learning something new from someone.
- Accountable: Be accountable and answerable to someone who is in your sphere of influence
In conclusion, failure to handle communication positively impacts every other area of life and is like opening a can of worms that spreads to others. Fortunately it is a skill that can be learned and perfected. Like salvation itself, it must be worked on ‘with fear and trembling’ as all of life depends on it. Neglecting to develop this aspect is simply refusing to be godly and exposing oneself to wicked works. The spirit in us thirsts for holiness and when deprived an emptiness happens which the devil gladly fills up with his own perversion of holiness.
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falling is not the problem, failing to riseUP is!