The Animal called Communication

Part 2: Key Factors of Communication (cont. from Part 1)

It is important to note that the agenda for communication at any given time is always critical in how the ‘communication’ plays out. From the time a message departs from one source to the time it arrives on the other end, agendas on both ends influence the transaction and how it ends whether positively or negatively. The next question to consider becomes that of what influences communication. I have discovered that the four key factors that govern communication are as follows:

Positive/Negative are both Communication:

When something is said and when nothing has been said, communication has taken place. It really does not matter whether its verbal or non-verbal; spoken or unspoken; action or no-action; clear or not clear (case of clarity:); to be or not to be- All of it is communication because impartation and exchange of information will still occur behind the scenes in the mind or heart of hearts where it really matters because of a pre-existing expectation in the particular covenant. It is better to make sure you say something or ask a question and get clarity than to assume things that may be to your own hurt. It is also important to learn to speak than to keep quiet lest you be misjudged or misunderstood. It is equally important to use wisdom in speaking lest you say too much or too little to cause pain or be misquoted. Knowing when to speak and when to keep quiet is great wisdom as well. Too much too soon is just as bad as too little too late!


Covenant is the platform that communication will thrive on. There are various covenants in life from business, friendships, marriages to ministry and just love platforms. Knowledge of the covenant determines expectation and an unspecified and not so defined covenant will have erratic communication leading to failure of the relationship in most cases. Many times people assume that because love, marriage or business has been declared and agreed upon, communication will just flow. This is not only a mindset for fools but for losers who have signed an agreement with failure in everything. It breaks my heart how successful an individual can be in business as an executive but fail dismally in keeping a love relationship, a marriage or a ministry. If they could apply half their business principles, their problems would be half solved. In business for example, people are kept informed by emails, memos, meetings and appraisals etc. In personal relationships these same people may neglect to reply an sms or even take the time to do an appraisal or ask for one from e.g their partner. Everything is expected to be automatic on the personal front while in business deliberate effort is made to make sure everyone is on the same page! A simple SWOT analysis between parties can transform a relationship if people learnt to be openminded and and aim to get better. Thus said the covenant must be clearly defined between parties to enable setting up some communication procedures and expectations that will make things happen fruitfully


The presence of love or absence of it does not guarantee the expected communication. Negative emotions can play out against each other all day without any successful communication. Deliberate effort has to be put to cultivate the atmosphere of an agenda be it love or hate. The expression of emotions can then result in communication. Assumptions thrive in negative emotions and often bring unintended rot to relationships unnecessarily. The feelings and emotions may be very positive but the individual can be locked up in cycles of negative communication, doing and saying all the wrong things to the destruction of their relationships both business and personal. The opposite is mostly true in the case of pretenders whose pretentious ways throw all their fake works in the mud at some point. Thus, positiveness of the agenda should be complimented with positive communication both in terms of verbal and non-verbal means.

Continuous Learning:

Communication means continuous learning but many relationships fail because they live in the ‘assumption mode.’ Assuming that the other party knows is the rot that destroys covenants. Making expectations known and clarifying misconceptions in a positive way helps. Be prepared to learn even when you think you know it all. Communicating positively is the right thing to do so deliberate and conscious effort to do the right thing matters in any relationship. Knowing how to do it is imperative therefore self development in this area is key. Sometimes listening will be better than talking and that is great communication too but unless one learns the art of communication, how can they know. No amount of prayer can solve this one without positive efforts to acquire wisdom for the cause.

So an awareness of these principles of communication and deliberate effort to be a better communicator will lead to successful relationships.

Now that we know the key factors that govern communication, the next thing to talk about is what hinders communication. Join me in Part 3 as we look at communication barriers.

Till Then
Ester H.


falling is not the problem, failing to riseUP is…

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