The Concept of Moving on
In Part 1, we looked at the background to the concept of moving on and how that as human beings going through real life challenges sometimes we are faced with the reality of having to move on. This 2-word phrase is often used to advise people struggling in a dark space in their life and today we explore what it is to move on as it often doesn’t mean anything in the heat of difficult circumstances.
To move on is to realise a change in circumstances, embrace the change and carry on with ones life in a different way than what had been the norm. It may involve a change in lifestyle, change in location, change in jobs, change in living arrangements or even religion amongsts other changes that can occur in life. We only ever need to move on from a place of loss (death) of one thing or the other including loss of loved ones. It takes processing the pain, the thoughts, the emotions from all the turmoil and darkness that often surrounds us as humans to resume the journey of life after a forced halt. We need to realise first and foremost that we are not in control and we do not know it all but there is one that knows it all- God Almighty.
As humans created by love and given power and dominion in the earth, we are in charge of our thoughts. Those same thoughts that bring about the feelings and emotions that place us in the dens of anxiety or depression where introduced to us by us. The mind we possess and have been given power of decision over creates and stores those unpleasant images inside and then fools us into thinking it’s safer to stay ‘here’ (present) than proceed into an unknown and unsafe future. If we are here (present pain) what guarantee do we have that there is bliss or peace there (future). So the body proceeds into the future while the mind foolishly stops or shuts down and wallows in sorrow and wishful thinking or fantasy with no real know-how of how to handle it or proceed. Guess who suffers the halt? You, you and you alone! Sadly, we alone used our God given senses to store this information inside. Let take a look at a few scenarios below:
When 2 people argue, we always say there are 2 sides to the story. We say this because each of the 2 parties will have their own interpretation and understanding of the events that transpired. Imagine if there were three, four or five people to comment on the same event. Then there would be 3, 4 or 5 sides possibly. The point being, when something happens, if we do not see it Gods way, we are going to have problems. For example, when a loved one dies, there is God’s side of the story because he sees everything and knows everything. The one that grieves this loss has their own side of the story. I imagine that if the dead where allowed to speak, they would also have a different side and version to the story. The question is, whose version matters? Whose interests have been served? If for example the loved one could not cope with life for reasons known only to them and God and he awarded them rest, who are we as the living to cry foul? What sort of information are we going to decode and store within from this mindset? That God is unfair? Life is unfair…?
…and now if we see death as someone taken away, stolen from us, is it right and does it give us peace to live on?
We might see the evil of the sickness, accident or circumstances that took them away, will this afford us peace to journey on without them, is that the entire picture of things?
Perhaps it’s a deal gone wrong, we see the cruelty of those that duped us, stole from us or conned us- can we trust that we are safe in the future? Can we have the energy to move on?
Is it a divorce, we have the images of a cheating partner, the disrespect and the episodes of emptiness or being taken for granted and not being appreciated. Will we be prepared to marry again or live again after this. We might as well be the walking dead if there’s not any hope left.
Is it a broken home, as a child you will have images of loveless parents and probably store that as ‘my parents hate me’ or ‘love doesnt exist’ or ‘marriage is not good’- can one move on from this
It could be childhood trauma from abusive parents or bullying or orphanhood or lack etc- stored as God doesn’t care or God does not exist or God hates me
So what then happens is that we store what we want, how we want and because of how we saw it, interpreted it or heard it or how it made us feel.
Then we suffer from anxiety or fear because of that information we deposited on the inside which may not be an accurate representation of facts or events from all angles (1 Corinthians 13:9-12). Obviously when we see things this way, we cannot trust or have faith in a God who allowed all this to happen ‘to us’ so God becomes an enemy
We can’t unsee it
We can’t undo it
We can’t reverse it
We can’t wish it away
Everything remains inside as we perceived it even if our perceptions are far from the real truth which only God knows. The next thing is that we cannot stand the thought that these things can happen to us or happen again if they already did because sometimes it is not even about us but what we see happening to others or around us. You may have lost a loved one perhaps so sudden that there was no chance to say goodbye. Yes you didn’t cause the death of your loved one, yet you remain in charge of all the thoughts pertaining to the death and how you feel thereafter. It may be a robbery that left you injured and you lost all your valuables or a terminal sickness that is eating you away or infact took your loved one. Perhaps a heart-rending divorce or just a painful breakup or failed business or a war that has cost businesses, lives and so much more for you or loved ones or your beloved country. Is it the thought of world crises, innocent people being killed, girls or boys being raped and criminals getting aways with it? Faced with so many evil and wicked possibilities how do we forge ahead. There is so much that we go through as humans that makes it so awfully hard to face the future. So much to worry about, so much hopelessness and despair! So much anxiety and depression! How do we move on? If your eyes or ears or body have experienced any form of wickedness, how do you know to expect the best because that would be the only sure way to move on. An assurance that all is well and that the future is different…How do you get that? The world continues to serve negative energy- for the wickedness continues. How are we to cope mentally so that we can thrive physically and therefore move on?
It begins with deliberate efforts to interpret the information received by our 5 senses spiritually and not physically. Yes our senses are physical but we are spirit beings that must first pass all incoming information through the lense of the Spirit of God who is our commander in the battles of livelihood. God mades all things, owns all things and controls all things worldover and beyond. As an individual, the sum total of your thoughts, emotions, experiences and entire being belong to God. Your part is to believe God, seek him continually and see everything through the lense of this Spirit and Truth- The Word. Failure to apply the word is failure to be wise and infact an involuntary choice to excercise foolishness at your own cost. His word is wisdom and that wisdom existed before there was ever anything made that was made (Proverbs 8). While Isaiah 5:13 points out how we go into bondage because of the lack of knowledge, Hosea 4:6 further stresses this point,
My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.
From this, we can see that there is knowledge provided for every experience and situation we find ouselves in, in the word of God. Seeking this knowledge and accepting it is infact accepting God. Denying the knowledge knowingly or unknowingly by choosing not to seek it or ignoring it results in being rejected by God and left to your own uninformed means that lead nowhere hence failure to moveon.
Therefore, while change facilitates the need to move on, one can be stuck in a bad experience or memory for an entire lifetime unless they decide to actually move on. The action of moving on begins in the mind by acquiring knowledge, wisdom, prudence, equity and counsel etc on the matters. These are virtues that direct life coming out of the Word of God and inspired by his Holy Spirit. To lack these is to be in bondage and destruction at the same time. To allow invasive thoughts to reign is to disregard the instruction of wisdom and give one self openly to captivity and loss of a sound mind first and then of physical things.
Thanks for reading this post. Please like and share and dont forget to Join me in Part 3 as we explore the mindset of moving on…
Remember falling is not the problem but failing to rise up is