The history of Africa is marked with painful memories of the Slave Trade in which chiefs and others to whom power was a privilege sold their powerless subordinates for self gain. Those sold were subjected to torture, torment, confusion, sickness, pain and sometimes even death aboard the ships ferrying them to their new owners. Individuals were bought for a price worth nothing while they were separated from their loved ones never to see them again. Slavery meant loss of freedom and independence to the slave and total control with all sorts of rights even sexual to the enslaver. It was characterised with emotional, physical and economic abuse. Today many individuals are tied to these attrocities spiritually in an insatiable hunger to own fellow humans through unforgiveness.
Unforgiveness is an acute condition of the sickness of the mind in which the sufferer assumes non-realistic, non-feasible and non-existent control over an individual. The host has an insatiable hunger to enslave the victim who unfortunately belongs to a higher power and is generally off-limits for them. It is rather insane (for lack of a better word) to assume ownership of an individual because of the attrocities committed against you. While you assume this fake power, negative forces enhance the emotions inorder for you to feel superior. They have an agenda to kill, steal and destroy John 10.10. They depend on the partnerships they gain with humans to do this. To some extent they can achieve their mission on both ends. However if anyone of the ends is soldout to Christ and redeemed by the work of the cross, the host of unforgiveness suffers endlessly on their own unless and until they humble themselves enough to forgive. Sadly, this means double trouble because after enduring the wrongs done to you, these same wrongs become your legal entry into ‘wrong’ at your own personal level. Now you pay the price for wrongs at both levels.
God created man is his own image and owns everything and everyone on the universe. In the earth realm, certain rules apply in dealing with each other based on the laws God provided for humanity. The laws are diverse but zooming in on them reveals one thing~LOVE. God himself is Love. He is the author of love so that while we were yet sinners, he sent his only son Jesus to die for us on the cross. This was the highest degree of love in which even today, our sins cannot seperate us from the love of God. We are able to approach the throne at any time, seek forgiveness, repent and be assured of our acceptance from on high.
Now unforgiveness is the rot that defiles humans, the inability to forgive. It is accepting that we have been wronged but failing to take the next step with wisdom. What makes it so difficult to forgive? Wrongs, sins or attrocities commited against us attack our very sense of being and diminish our confidence and self pride. Some wrongs leave us feeling unwanted, dejected, rejected, unloved and depressed. They bruise our ego and affect our self-worth negatively. It is a direct act of rejection in the sense that we are denied access into honour and respect. In worst case scenarios our love for self is also attacked so that we are left hating the very sense of existence.
The shame of all these negative emotions and feelings is the most unbearable and responsible for driving us to desperate measures to gain back our honour and dignity. To counter these unpleasant feelings, humans resort to assuming a position of power internally. This is where we seperate the wise and the foolish. At this point, degeneration (death) begins and need not be physically evident. In Hosea, God himself contemplates the perishing of his people because of ignorance (Hosea 4:6). Where his people (all humanity) are supposed to surrender everything to him so that vengeance is his (Romans 12:19), they take the bull by the horns and further demon inspired agendas of self vengeance to restore whatever it is they perceive lost.
Again because there is no knowledge, it is those same things individuals are instructed not to do in the lawbook that they do, hurting and being hurt, deceiving and being deceived, rejecting and being rejected and those nagative cycles know no end until the day one realises that time is far spent and pain and her companions are stubbornly resident.
Symptoms of Unforgiveness :
Cycles of emotional abuse
NB* This list is not by any means exhaustive in itself.
How to FORGIVE
It is crucial to reflect on the violation committed against us at 3levels viz;
- The Perpertrator
Firstly, It takes the love of God to forgive. You have to acknowledge the presence of a higher power in the case to forgive. He is still on the throne. So it begins by conceptualising that God is large and incharge. Understanding that God is love is key. If God is love, then accepting that you are loved by him enables you to fully comprehend that he will take the next step to rectify the problem, vindicate you and restore your honour and dignity. Literally, to forgive is to give in advance. God in his sovereignty and wisdom commissioned the law of forgiveness. He knew we would be offended and hurt yet he put a requirement for us to give love in advance. He simply meant it as it is and has reasons for not explaining further and simply requiring us to trust him by just doing it. This means that he is in charge of what happens from the time we forgive to restore us into a more dignified and peaceful place. Your duty therefore is to commit to forgiveness, feed your spirit with the word until you land in a better place by his grace. This is a jouney one needs to take for themselves and not make it about others as they are answerable for their own actions. Thus, forgiveness is an act of faith and obedience to God Almighty. Its a show of honour and respect for his ever abiding presence in our innerman and lives. Let me put it this way, unforgiveness is like having squabbles or fighting in front of an elder e.g parent, teacher, boss or Pastor. Picture it and see if you are happy to continue in unforgiveness…
Secondly accept that a fellow human being has wronged you and love them enough to acknowledge a sickness of the mind on their part. The compassionate mindset should consider that, ” If they were ok, why the hate to harm me.” Everybody likes good but not everybody is selfless enough to maintain good. Some acts of ‘good’ when done thoughtlessly infringe on other people’s rights to good. That inability to recognise evil and desist from it reflects instability or sickness of the innerman. Unfortunately the victim also becomes the perpertrator of secret attrocities by counter behaviours or attitude ~refusing to forgive, hating, rebelling against God himself because of crimes committed against them. However, when you begin to concern yourself with the life of the perpetrator in a positive way, acknowledging their evident ‘sickness’ seeking their wellness, then that is the road to recovery for yourself. Scripture says as he is, so are we in the earth. The more of God we allow ourselves to exhibit, the more we move towards absolute peace. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (Luke 6:31) means that you are aware of your imperfections and sinful abilities but are more interested in revealing the God-part in you for his glory. A forgiver is one that looks at what has been done to them as if they did it to someone else and they consider how they would want to be treated. It’s a mindset that days, this messup could be mine but by grace it isn’t. If you can forgive in advance, you are also forgiven in advance by others and by God himself. If you hold on to what others do against you, one day you will find yourself in that trap where it will cost you more than you were charging this particular perpetrator today. Those that struggle to forgive are wannabe gods trying to act perfect as if they even created themselves to be so overly confident that they won’t make those same mistakes. Didn’t Bob Marley sing that what goes around, comes around? Lucky Dube said treat them good on your way up as you will meet them on your way down. Oh how i love when Jesus confirms this in Matthew 7:2. He advises that with the measure you give in judgement, it shall be measured unto you! Again storing wrath for yourself is not a wise decision. Infact it is a very selfish act that will transcend generations in your bloodline because of this seed of unforgiveness you have sown. Your judgements of today will be your downfall of tomorrow. Open your eyes and remove these seeds. Choose to let go.
Lastly but definitely not least is you, the one who was wronged. You are the one suffering the shame and loss of dignity. The one whose feelings and emotions are justified in every sense and at every point. The one whose pride was put in the mud and cannot see the possibility of forgiving. To you, forgiving means letting someone off the hook easily. Your forgiveness has value, sometimes even monetary value, so why forgive? Again, the answer to that is~ simply acknowledge a higher power -God and fulfil his law. Jesus was the son God well before he was born but he had to be baptised like everybody else to fulfill the laws put in place here on earth. The very act of coming to earth by natural birth speaks volumes. If Jesus could be humble, humble yourself and forgive. They betrayed him, spat on him, clapped him, undressed him YET, he prayed for their forgiveness before he died. He had the bigger picture. It is called assignment. You are assigned to that hurt! Accept it, process it and arise from it. Let go! Refuse to be in counterfeit control of somebody and be punished for pride like Satan the master of it. If God in his sovereign and holy love opens a door for that betrayal to be your experience, that crucifixion on this earth…go with the flow and let him raise you up again to your glory! Some offenses are designed to shame the devil, some are designed to win souls while yet some are just God training us into what he wants us to know and/or be. YES FORGIVE!!!!
If the enemy can get you to see darkness around the whole issue, if he can get you to have endless flashbacks about the offense, the betrayal, the cheating, the abuse or whatever it is that makes it so hard to see a brighter day concerning that person, then he has won. But can you let him? Choose wisdom!
The truth is that Satan is a confirmed loser destined for hell. He has to face the shame of fighting lost battles (the price of pride that got him thrown out of heaven) because the work was finished on the cross. It is his express interest to recruit workers for his kingdom to push his agendas. Is this the life you choose for your self? To be the Devil’s advocate, practising a slave trade with no reward except death and finally hellfire? He pries on your lack of knowledge or your foolishness to neglect given wisdom that you know. He was in heaven in past times ministering to God before getting thrown out. He knows what you should know. He will give you a crown of Pride, sit you on the throne of Judgement, get you to issue out your own decrees and laws i.e conditions and a pricetag on forgiveness so that you don’t ever forgive. This way he will have you believing that you are in charge and protecting yourself from further abuse. All it means is that you have joined him in fighting lost battles. At least he knows he lost (and wants souls to go down with), do you? As you harbour unforgiveness, your body cells are dying. Its a death path when you choose the devil instead of life in God’s path. You perish as you lack the knowledge to forgive.
Problems with unforgiveness
- Persistant bouts of anger at every thought of the offense leading to disappointment, regret, woundedness and pain
- Stress as the unresolved negative emotions pack up and crowd the innerman with rot leadjng to anxiety
- Bitterness as the rot causes contamination in the innerman leading to lack of good judgement concerning anything else
- Confusion and frustration because of bad views, bad decisions that are created by an already tempered with mind and lack of clarity
- Trauma as the vision of the offense is played over and over again in one’s mind further breaking the heart and making it impossible to see the offenders in good light. This can lead to distress, depression or even suicide on the extremes side.
- Endless quarrels that will eventually culminate in broken relationships e g divorce because of failure to resolve and ofcourse counterfeit packages always await those coming of the offense train ready to side track them elsewhere and further wound them
All these problems with unforgiveness can be traced to offense and woundedness. In a desperate attempt to escape the never ending cycle of unpleasantness, individuals opt into all kinds of demonically inspired copying mechanisms. I say demonically inspired because there is only one way around it and its called forgiveness. Only Forgiveness activates healing and that healing is never instant in the physical realm. There is no other way but through that highest level of love. Forgiveness was designed by God as a vehicle of reconciliation and love. That is how he reconciled us to himself through Jesus Christ. When we forgive, we are acting and behaving like God that is why Christ taught in his prayer, “forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive”. God so loved us while we were yet sinners and forgave us well before we even gave our lives to him. If we can’t forgive those we have even loved before they wronged us, we might as well forget about being Christlike. Forgiveness is the core of Christendom. Christianity hinges and depends on it. If you fail ‘here’ don’t expect to pass ‘there’ unless you change yourself first. If you go ‘there’ as the same person that failed ‘here,’ you will still fail. Forgiveness is an act of love. God is love. Love is kind, patient, longsuffering, meek etc (I Cortinthians 13). Occasionally during the journey of unforgiveness, the presence of pain overshadows the positive efforts seducing individuals into blacklisting and condemning the offenders in their books. This should no be so as no healing process has been easy even in the physical world except in the case of miracles. I encourage individuals to focus right ahead and observe the laws of God all the way. Some relationships have no business being broken e g marriage or family while yet others may be broken e.g business non-binding agreements. Discernment is key to decision making. A decision made by a broken heart or an unforgiving heart is mostly erratic except if it be an act of God.
Unfortunately all of problems of unforgiveness mentioned before can only grow inside and the more they grow and intensify, the more one becomes weakened in their ability to make sound judgement and in worst case scenarios to cope with life. In simple terms unforgiveness is a demonic agenda designed ro cripple one and derail them eventually rendering them useless. It is afterall that one thing that caused God to unite with mankind. He forgave first and the devil hates that. He will do whatever it takes to get you to fail at it yet all it takes is knowledge of God and obedience. He will amplify the offense, exalt your ego and make it difficut for you to come off the high horse of pride yet he is not your friend and he will damage your heart while seducing you to a pervertted self-love. A heart torn in pieces is good for nothing eventually (Isaiah 30:12-13) and in case you are wondering, this doesn’t happen overnight so without discernment one may never know that ‘plan derail’ is already underway until its too late.
To all my brothers and sisters out there, forgive, forgive and forgive again. If you cannot control what people do to you, you certainly cannot control them after they have done that which you do not want. You have no control. Trust God who alone has the absolute power and control to recompense according to his promise. Expect your double for the shame and move on (Isaiah 61:7) from the place of offense. Life has more and is worth more than crowning another man’s sin with your own and going home with all the blame and a heavier burden, becoming the living dead.
Well thats it for today conquerors, till we meet again, dont forget to like and share
Remember falling is not the problem, failing to rise up is.