Its been an awful long time and i hope you missed me as i missed you lots! If you have ever thought or said , “life sucks..” Welcome!!!
Ever wondered why you always end up in the same unwanted challenges – broke, lonely, frustrated, disgusted, hurt etc? It’s because you have been trading on battlefields without even knowing it. Well perhaps you knew something was up against you but really did nothing about it. It’s like you have to wrestle your way through various challenges, seasons and phases in your life…like life is a struggle! I have often heard ( and I’m also guilty), “life is hard”, “life is unfair” or “life sucks…etc.” One day it got me thinking and I wondered, Who is life? Where is life? What is life? There was no one to answer me and something got stirred up in me! Life is me. Life is being alive to see the next day. Life is what I make it, yeah that’s right. That’s what they used to say when we were growing up…that, ‘LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT!’
Now If I am life, if I am alive today and I make life, then I am enough to make my life what I want it to be. So I came up with levels to map my life forward. These levels turned out to be battlefronts as follows:
- Thought/believe: This is the level of thought. I have to think it (life) first, perceive it in my mind and believe it so that I have a clear picture of who I am, what I want to be, how I will become it and where I am going. Everything that ever happened to anybody was first conceived as a thought either of fear or of faith thus were the battle lines drawn knowingly or unknowingly. I have to be very deliberate about it all or I will never amount to anything. The danger is that if I do not deliberately strategize, life will pass me by. The thought level is the facet of my life that consists of reconditioning my mindset. I must have a winner mindset. This must be birthed out of the mindset of a fighter. I must fight for what is mine and unless I know it I cannot fight for it. I like to call it the chief of all battles because if you are defeated in your thinking system, there is no way you are going to win anything in the natural. This is the first BATTLEFRONT where we fight the battle of the MIND.
2. Speech/confess: This is the level of confession. After I have come up with the picture I want for my life, I move on to the speaking part. Speaking affirms what the mind has been audacious enough to believe. If I don’t speak it soon, it might as well die at the level of thought. Confessing one’s thoughts establishes that which they believe as true. That confession has the power to draw those images from the spirit realm to the natural realm. There is really no point in life to strategizing and planning things in your mind and jump out of there to speak everything negative. It simply turns you into a confused nut, living in a fantasy world that will never become real. A tongue that is not partnering with your belief system will not get you anywhere. You are better off without it! This is the second BATTLEFRONT where we fight the battle of the TONGUE.
3. Action/works: This is the level where action completes the work of believing and confessing. The awareness of who I am and what I want to be can only be effected by works that align with what I have believed. This is how I sign up to real war. Most times the enemy is quite happy letting us do the imaginations and running wild with that. Most times too he could let us wag our big tongues and confess it endlessly. However, unless there is action that is commensurate with the mind and the tongue, you are really not going anywhere with your life. This is how people get stuck in lives they never bargained for because they did not do anything to direct their paths. This is third BATTLEFRONT where we fight the battle of the FLESH. This level is particularly interesting because it is the one fought here in the natural world. Its has such battlefields as: the body, the finances, religion, the family, education, people network etc. Various categories/battle fields can arise to all this but the key thing is to know your enemy and how to fight him.
My heart goes out to those who are in war but do not even know it. Some are casualties of battles they never even perceived they were involved in yet they were on the frontline the whole time. Friends, the truth of the fact is that the enemy is one! His name is the devil. According to John 10:10, he is the thief that came to still what is yours, to kill and destroy everything that concerns you and to eventually take you out! He is ruthless! He is cunning! He is evil! He is wicked! He is a deceiver! He is the accuser! A scheming liar and your adversary, always roaming about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour!
The good news is that a man called Jesus came that we may have LIFE and have it more abundantly. Scripture says in him is light and that light is the life of man. Choosing him means actioning a new LIFECYCLE. Putting off the oldman (you) and putting on the new man (Christ) means that you begin a life of transformation. The journey of transformation is certainly no match for cowards. It is for the brave! Those that have made up their minds that they will be conquerors. It is a work of faith and faith is not for the weak who stumble even when nothing is in their way. It is for those who are determined to find meaning for their lives, make the necessary sacrifices and embrace the victories (I will talk more about these sacrifices in future posts so stay tuned). It is a journey of seeking the one who promised (Jesus) and is the life, pursuing the promises, overtaking and recovering them all to cause life to become, then will it not ‘suck’.
Where once things around you were dying, they start living. They become revitalised, replenished, refreshed and well set for prosperity. Not in a day’s work, do not be fooled but certainly doable! Yes, attainable! Not an easy walk in the park but a journey full of adventure. Brothers and Sisters THAT IS LIFE. If you care, rise up and fight for the life of your dreams! You are the battle axe that will dash in pieces your adversary and make way for your life to be what you have always wanted it to be.
I hope this helped you. Don’t forget to share with your friends, otherwise remain focused till we meet again…
Thank you for checking in and dont forget to share 🙂
Falling is not the problem, failing to riseUP is!!!!
DEALING WITH REJECTION
As discussed in Part 1, rejection is a stronghold that affects the ego of an individual. It defies the very sense of being and crashes any positive attempts to self- awareness, self love and fruitful relationships. It is important to note that while this can be as a result of one bad experience, it can be a response to a train of bad experiences overtime too. Moreover, it may not even be about bad experiences but a state of loss in the following examples:
Primary Causes of Rejection
- rejected pregnancy
- rejected mother
- death of parent(s)/spouse/loved one/partner/lover
- absent father or mother/both
- divorce or broken family/home
- unhappy homes e.g quarells, fights
Secondary Causes of rejection
- loss of a loved one
- failed relationships
- loss of self~pride e.g virginity, rejected pregnancy, no access to child,
- separation and long distance relationships
- painful memories
- abuse e.g sexual, emotional, physical
- bullying, mockery, shame etc
- late marriage
- poverty e.g lack of food, shelter, clothes or fees/education
- costly mistakes or regrets
- unbelief and disobedience e.g occult, iniquitous patterns ~ continued sin (of self or generational)
As it were, loss in the examples above clearly depicts denied access to rights of love or desired status/dignity or relationships. Thus one has been rejected whether they are aware or unaware of this fact and these are called open doors to ones innerman for torment. The spirit of rejection simply looks for an open door in one’s life or their bloodline (Deuteronomy 5:19) . This means that being sinless in that area as an individual does not exempt you from torment or being a target for possession. Rejection may therefore be active, ~known or unknown, acknowledged or not and has the evil capacity to render havoc to unsuspecting individuals who think its ‘life’. Worsestill, both perpetrators and victims are subject to the spirit at the occurence of the rejection. The act of rejecting and that of being rejected is rejection in all. Evidently, a look at the above shows nothing new but such as is common to man but that is where the trick is. Although the face of it all is normal, the processing of emotions related to these experiences on the inside is nothing near normal. Infact, it should be a very thoughtful and deliberate plan to process negative emotions and safely dispose of them without harming self or others all the way to a state of peace. This is what will separate the rejected from the accepted.
Most individuals do not take the time to workout their emotions because of a combination of factors from life’s experiences to teachings recorded and encountered along the way. The thing is that through life’s journey we formulate templates of response to similar experiences based on what works best interms of peace and comfort for ourselves. Unfortunately, the tendency is for people to brush it off, code it ‘life’ act like everything is ok and try to manuvre through life until a day of reckoning comes and a defining moment begins. Worsestill, a response that works for one is not necessarily the fruitful one and may have negative effects on self and others creating seeds for future rejection and abuse cycles that will know no end until they are dealt with. Most times, its too late and damage of some sort has been done.
After experiencing the shock of rejection the individual retaliates by crafting a response mechanism (also known as a copying mechanism) of self protection from further harm. The result becomes a perverted self~awareness in both extremes of good and bad. On the good side were one is supposed to be self-aware, confident and humble their ego is inflated and they become too important for the world, prideful and hard to please. On the bad side, were they were already shy, reserved and self-conscious, their already dwindled confidence tank is thrown to the dogs leaving them utterly insecure, scared of people and places and generally fearful of anything from failure to making mistakes and being alone or lonely and yet what they fear the most makes up their life eventually.
It is also very common for one to switch from a good side extreme to a bad side extreme at any point in their life as they try to come up with the best mechanism for self protection. This becomes a mask of self in which they hide that rejected being inside and enjoy the fake one who seems to be more comfortable and incharge outside. Unfortunately, that rejected self continues to cry for freedom causing conflict within self as the pressure of inauthenticity threatens their peace. This can lead to depression or mental challenges if left unattended.
Now the symptoms of rejection will always reveal themselves in a person’s life and the running has to stop at some point.
HOW TO IDENTIFY & DEAL WITH REJECTION: The PADRA Analysis
Conducting aPADRA analysis begins the healing process by allowing an individual to reflect on their lives, zone in on the Pain, Anger, Disappoinments, Regrets and Anxiety points in their lives thus far, face them, do an audit of the trends and then close the demonic doors associated with them Gods way. PADRAs question the presence of God or acceptance at some point hence lead to rejection.
1. ASK QUESTIONS
The first port of call is to ask questions. The following are just examples:
- Have i ever been disappointed?
- Am i angry about something?
- Was i denied access to someone, something or somewhere?
- Did someone break my heart?
- What are my fears?
- Is my life the way it should be? Why?
Again these questions at first glance are ‘life’ and many would think so what’s the big deal? In most cases rejected people are ‘okay’ people, not ‘angry’ and generally ‘happy’ looking people until the right questions are asked and they get talking. As mentioned in Part 1, rejection is a stronghold that commands other giants e.g pride, unforgiveness, rebellion, bitterness and anger etc etc…Thus, amongst the tell~tell signs of rejection are frustration, stagnancy, going round in circles, unresolved anger issues, troubled relationships birthed in domineering attitudes, i~know~it~all, unteachable, perfectionist/ hard to please character, rebellious, control freak, grudge keeper and truss breaker, easily disappointed, quick to cry, highly emotional and sensitive, always misread and misunderstood, confused about self and constantly in turmoil within self etc etc. These continue to set one up with more rejection, misery and lack of peace.
The next step is to think deeply and reflect on the who, what, where, why and how of each point. You must be able to:
- Acknowledge the rejection/wrongs done
- Accept what the perpetrators did
- Ascertain your own contribution to what happened
- Take responsibility for your own action
3. SURRENDER TO THE SOVEREIGN GOD
This is the crucial stage where you acknowledge the presence of a higher power in it all. Please note that this is a leap of faith as nothing changes outside instantly but everything is transformed inside instantly. Unfortunately, the change can quickly vanish if nothing is done to maintain it. You have to trust the one who sees all, knows all and is judge over all. As you continue to hold those who rejected/hurt you, God cannot deal with them. You continue to be a god/judge over the situation and therefore live under an open curse~the price of idolatry (Jeremiah 17.5). As a host of the spirit of rejection you are simply your biggest enemy.
After you have made the committment to yield to a higher power and NOT your ownself, begin the journey of letting go. It is important to know that this is not a one day thing afterall rome wasn’t built in a day! The committment to see it through means a lot for yourself, your loved ones and the kingdom. The rejected being trapped on the inside must come out. To do this she/he has to make sure that acceptance and not rejection awaits them outside. Take the following steps to prepare the exit:
- Kill the idol in you: Acknowledge the Lordship of God Almighty through the love of Christ who died for you on the cross while you were yet a sinner. This means acceptance!
- Repent: Whether you entered the web of rejection knowingly or unknowingly, you have become a partaker of its evils and repentance is key. Repent on behalf of self, family and ancestors (Deuteronomy 5:19). Some of the sins associated with rejection are self explanatory being based on acts of rejection and the resulting copying mechanisms of personal protection such as rebellion, bitterness, pride, anger issues, unforgiveneness which lead to other sins e.g foul attitude towards perpetrators sometimes even hate and thoughts of killing them or wishing for their death or misfortune, trickery, dishohour, disrespect, perversion (e.g fornication, adultery, masturbation, whoredom, promiscuity, pornography etc), drunkenness, self-righteousness, unbelief, lack of connection with God (challenges in reading the word, praying or serving etc)
- Forgive: The evil of unforgiveness is that it puts you in a prison of torment where you find your life limited or going round in circles (Matthew 18:23-25). Forgive everyone from yourself, the rejectors to God himself (not that God needs your forgiveness but that in your act of blaming him and asking why, you also classified him as a rejector) so that you can see all in good light, the light of God. Again this is an elimination of false gods. 1. you~god 2. rejector~god 3. god~god. The 1st one is where you made yourself more important than everyone else. The 2nd one is where you harboured those that hurt you carrying them wherever you go. Unbeknown to you these became gods that controlled your attitude, demeanor and entire life. The 3rd one represents the counterfeit God, the devil. If the one true God was present in your life the example of Christ being your model would not co~habit with rejection and its partners. You have thus been furthering the enemy’s agenda while destroying your own self amd others. Humble yourself, FORGIVE and let go!
- ACCEPTANCE: After all is said and done it is of utmost importance to adopt an attitude of acceptance. Focusing on God means access is granted and moving forward in this mindset will ultimately wipeout the residue of rejection. One must begin a journey of feeding their spirit daily with the bread of life. Being born of God, a spirit starved of this food will eventually fall back into the old traps of rejection.
In conclusion, it is imperative to note at this point that as an evil spirit, rejection is very subtle, cunning and quick to camouflage itself in the victim. This makes the above tell~tell signs non~specific at first glance as rejection is able to finely engraft itself into the persona of individuals. Worsestill the spirit has the wicked ability to switch copying mechanisms within one person leading confusion as people are not always sure who they are dealing with and how to deal with that individual. In extreme cases this can lead to such conditions as split- personality disorder which are beyond the scope of this article. Scripture says resist the devil and he will flee from you (James 4:7). Anytime you feel rejected, refuse to entertain the thought. Stick to acceptance and stay focused on access being granted (Proverbs 9:7~8). Eventually the energies around you will partner with you to attract what you desire ~ the atmosphere you live in being charged with positive energies and acceptance!
Till Then, thank you for reading this post and don’t forget to share 🙂
falling is not the problem, failing to riseUP is
The history of Africa is marked with painful memories of the Slave Trade in which chiefs and others to whom power was a privilege sold their powerless subordinates for self gain. Those sold were subjected to torture, torment, confusion, sickness, pain and sometimes even death aboard the ships ferrying them to their new owners. Individuals were bought for a price worth nothing while they were separated from their loved ones never to see them again. Slavery meant loss of freedom and independence to the slave and total control with all sorts of rights even sexual to the enslaver. It was characterised by emotional, physical and economic abuse. Today many individuals are tied to these attrocities spiritually in an insatiable hunger to own fellow humans through unforgiveness.
Unforgiveness is an acute condition of the sickness of the mind in which the sufferer assumes non-realistic, non-feasible and non-existent control over an individual. The host has an insatiable hunger to enslave the victim who unforunately belongs to a higher power and is generally off-limits for them. It is rather insane (for lack of a better word) to assume ownership of an individual because of the attrocities committed against you. While you assume this fake power, negative forces enhance the emotions inorder for you to feel superior. They have an agenda to kill, steal and destroy John 10.10. They depend on the partnerships they gain with humans to do this. To some extent they can achieve their mission on both ends. However if any one of the ends is soldout to Christ and redeemed by the work of the cross, the host of unforgiveness suffers endlessly on their own unless and until they humble themselves enough to forgive. This means double trouble because after enduring the wrongs done to you, these same wrongs become your legal entry into ‘wrong’ at your own personal level. Now you pay the price for wrongs at both levels.
God created man in his own image and owns everything and everyone on the universe. In the earth realm, certain rules apply in dealing with each other based on the laws God provided for humanity. The laws are diverse but zooming in on them reveals one thing~LOVE. God himself is Love. He is the author of love so that while we were yet sinners, he sent his only son Jesus to die for us on the cross. This was the highest degree of love in which even today, our sins cannot seperate us from the love of God. We are able to approach the throne at any time, seek forgiveness, repent and be assured of our acceptance from on high.
Now unforgiveness is the rot that defiles humans, the inability to forgive. It is accepting that we have been wronged but failing to take the next step with wisdom. What makes it so difficult to forgive? Wrongs, sins or attrocities commited against us attack our very sense of being and diminish our confidence and self pride. Some wrongs leave us feeling angry, betrayed, degraded, unwanted, dejected, rejected, unloved and depressed. In worst case scenarios our love for self is also attacked so that we are left hating the very sense of existence.
The shame of all these negative emotions and feelings is the most unbearable and responsible for driving us to desperate measures to gain back our honour and dignity. To counter these unpleasant feelings, humans resort to assuming a position of power internally. This is where we seperate the wise and the foolish. At this point, degeneration (death) begins and need not be physically evident. In Hosea, God himself contemplates the perishing of his people because of ignorance (Hosea 4:6). Where his people (all humanity) are supposed to surrender everything to him so that vengeance is his (Romans 12:19), they take the bull by the horns and further demon inspired agendas of self vengeance to restore whatever it is they perceive lost.
Again because there is no knowledge, it is those same things individuals are instructed not to do in the lawbook that they do, hurting and being hurt, deceiving and being deceived, rejecting and being rejected and those nagative cycles know no end until the day one realises that time is far spent and pain and her companions are stubbornly resident.
Symptoms of Unforgiveness :
Cycles of emotional abuse
NB* This list is not by any means exhaustive in itself.
HOW TO FORGIVE
It is crucial to reflect on the violation committed against us at 3levels viz;
- The Perpertrator
Firstly, It takes the love of God to forgive. You have to acknowledge the presence of a higher power in the case to forgive. It begins by conceptualising that God is large and incharge. Understanding that God is love is key. If God is love, then accepting that you are loved by him enables you to fully comprehend that he will take the next step to rectify the problem, vindicate you and restore your honour and dignity. Secondly, God in his sovereignty and wisdom commissioned the law forgiveness. It is a law, a rule of the Spirit and there should be no compromise. Refusing to forgive is infact rejecting the Word of God and this simply equates to rejecting God himself. A great example of the consequences of rejecting God’s word can be seen in the book of Samuel. King Saul failed to carryout the instruction of God and God responded to this by rejecting him citing that Saul had infact rejected him by this act of rebqellion. When God gave the instruction to forgive, He simply meant it as it is and has reasons for not explaining further and requiring us to trust him in it all. He understands the pain from the beginning to the end. This means that he is in charge of what happens from the time we forgive to restore us into a more dignified and peaceful place. Your duty is to commit to forgiveness, feed your spirit with the word until you land in a better place by his grace. This is a jouney one needs to take for themselves and not make it about others as they are answerable for their own actions. Thus, forgiveness is an act of faith.
Secondly, accept that a fellow human being has wronged you and love them enough to acknowledge a sickness of the mind on their part. The compassionate mindset should consider that, ” If they were ok, why the hate to harm me.” Everybody likes good but not everybody is selfless enough to maintain good. Some acts of ‘good’ when done thoughtlessly infringe on other people’s rights to good. That inability to recognise evil and desist from it reflects instability or sickness of the innerman. Unfortunately the victim also becomes the perpertrator of secret attrocities ~refusing to forgive, hating, rebelling against God himself because of crimes committed against them. However, when you begin to concern yourself with the life of the perpetrator in a positive way, acknowledging their evident ‘sickness’ seeking their wellness, then that is the road to recovery for yourself. Scripture says as he is, so are we in the earth. The more of God we allow ourselves to exhibit, the more we move towards absolute peace. Do others as you would have them do unto you (Luke 6:31) means that you are aware of your imperfections and sinful abilities but are more interested in revealing the God-part in you for his glory. If you can forgive in advance, you are also forgiven in advance by others and by God himself. If you hold on to what others do against you, one day you will find youreslf in that trap where it will cost you more than you were charging this particular perpetrator today (parable of the unforgiving servant- Matthew 18:21-35). Again storing wrath for yourself is not a wise decision. Infact it is a very selfish act that will transcend generations in your bloodline because of this seed of unforgiveness you have sown. Your judgements of today will be your downfall of tomorrow. Open your eyes and remove these seeds. Choose to let go.
Lastly but definitely not least is you, the one who was wronged. You are the one suffering the shame and loss of dignity. The one whose feelings and emotions are justified in every sense and at every point. The one whose pride was put in the mud and cannot see the possibility of forgiving. To you, forgiving means letting someone off the hook easily. Your forgiveness has value, sometimes even monetary value, so why forgive? Again, the answer to that is~ simply acknowledge a higher power -God and fulfil his law. Jesus was the son God well before he was born but he had to be baptised like everybody else to fulfill the laws put in place here on earth. The very act of coming to earth by natural birth speaks volumes. If Jesus could be humble, humble yourself and forgive. Let go! Refuse to be in counterfeit control of somebody and be punished for pride like Satan the master of it.
Now Satan has to face the shame of fighting lost battles (the price of pride that got him thrown out of heaven) because the work was finished on the cross. It is his expresss interest to recruit workers for his kingdom to push his agendas. Is this the life you choose for your self? To be the Devil’s advocate, practising a slave trade with no reward except death and finally hellfire? He pries on your lack of knowledge. He was in heaven in past times ministering to God before getting thrown out. He knows what you should know. He will give you a crown of Pride, sit you on the throne of Judgement, get you to issue out your own decrees and laws i.e conditions and a pricetag on forgiveness so that you don’t ever forgive. This way he will have you believing that you are in charge and protecting yourself from further abuse. All it means is that you have joined him in fighting lost battles. At least he knows he lost (and wants souls to go down with), do you? As your harbour unforgiveness, your cells are dying. You perish as you lack the knowledge to forgive.
To all my brothers and sisters out there, forgive, forgive and forgive again. If you cannot control what people do to you, you certainly cannot control them after they have done that which you do not want. You have no control. Trust God who alone has the absolute power and control to recompense according to his promise. Expect your double for the shame and move on (Isaiah 61:7). Life has more and is worth more than crowning another man’s sin with your own and going home with all the blame and a heavier burden – becoming the living dead. Choose to FORGIVE!!!!!
Well thats it for today conquerors, till we meet again, don’t forget to like and share
Remember falling is not the problem, failing to riseUP is.